The Transcendence of Midlife

The Transcendence of Midlife Despite its dubious validity, the idea of the midlife crisis persists. I can tell you from my research that it's the most searched term on Google when it comes to any topic about midlife. The idea entered the popular consciousness in the 1970s when the author Gail Sheehy wrote her mega–best seller Passages: Predictable Crises of Adult Life. Sheehy argued that around the age of 40, both men and women tend to descend into a crisis about getting old, running out of time to meet their goals, and questioning life choices. Almost everyone in their 40s and 50s can tell you what a midlife crisis is supposed to look like. But only 15.5 percent of men and 13.3 percent of women have reported suffering one. Things do get a bit rough around 40 for plenty of people. But it's more like discontent than a full-on crisis. Make it to 50, though, and things start getting better -- often very much so. And according to Arthur Brooks writing for The Atlantic, midlife may just be the best opportunity and biggest adventure you've had in decades -- if you make the right choices. Okay, so what exactly are those choices? It boils down to two key ways to approach aging that allow you to get better at getting older. First, choose to focus on what age gives you, not what it's taken away. Instead of fighting to look younger or against changes in your skills and strengths, accept your age and recognize the new aptitudes and abilities that come with it: These include the growing ability to see patterns clearly, teach others, and explain complex ideas—what psychologists call "crystallized intelligence." The second decision is to choose subtraction, not addition. When you realize that success does not equal more, you can cut out unsatisfying aspects of your life and focus on what matters most to you: Midlife is the point at which your medium of choice should change from a canvas to a sculpture, in which the work of art appears as a result of chipping away, not adding. For most people, life gets better starting in middle age, allowing you to transcend who you used to be. With the right mindset, you'll likely be happier, more creative, less neurotic, more agreeable, and more conscientious. So, step away from the red sports car. Everything is going to be just fine. The Two Choices That Keep a Midlife Crisis at Bay Keep going- Brian Clark P.S. The Further website is still out of action, but we're in the process of putting it back together. Thank you for all the kind notes of support! Down on the Sit-Up Our understanding of how the body moves and gains strength has evolved, to put it mildly, in the past 80 years or so. And that's caused the sit-up to fall far out of favor. Not only is it ineffective as a true core exercise, it can actually cause injury by the very nature of the movement. The Sit-Up Is Over Protein Packed Older adults typically need more protein than younger people. Here's how to ensure you're getting enough. Can Protein Powders Help Aging Muscles? Don't Be a Dope Our basic biology can steer us toward bad habits and compulsive behavior. If living a good life in ancient times of scarcity was about seeking fast-reward, lower-effort goods, then living a good life in modern times of abundance is about seeking slow-reward, higher-effort goods. How to Be Healthy in a Dopamine-Seeking Culture Gone to Portugal My son just finished his junior year of high school, so it's officially one year and counting until my wife and I leave the U.S. It's looking more and more like we'll end up in Portugal, at least part time. I'll let this article explain why. Why Portugal Has Been the Choice for Americans Relocating to Europe Get Lost to Find Yourself Nowadays, it's nearly impossible to get lost. Just ask Siri, Alexa, or Google – they're happy to plot your every move. For some, a continuous sense of safety and control is satisfying. But if you're interested in self-discovery and personal evolution, you've got to loosen your grip on certainty. Ironically, the best way to do this is to plan to get lost. No need to sweat the details – just follow my lead. A Curious Case This past weekend, I went to a kriya yoga workshop in a remote area. The retreat website had no explanation of the practice and a sparse agenda. Aside from the address and arrival time, I knew nothing more about the locale and intentionally avoided researching it. On the way there, I felt like a kid – psyched for an adventure and full of questions. This was by design, as I was consciously renewing my sense of wonder. Science tells us children are the most open to exploration and experimentation, asking an average of 40,000 questions between two and five. Thanks to a so-called "learning trap," that number goes to almost none by the time we're 11. Exploitation related to exploration can be risky, thus teaching us to favor predictability over uncertainty. Yet research also shows curiosity is crucial for adults, unlocking many personal and professional benefits, including better decision-making, collaboration, and innovation. And it's easily sparked by purposefully venturing out of your comfort zone. The art of knowing how to get lost involves daring to go beyond the boundaries that contain you and explore the unknown. Sound scary? Upsetting? Impossible? Good! The Art of Getting Lost According to a recent study, there are five dimensions of curiosity: Joyous exploration Deprivation sensitivity Stress tolerance Social curiosity, and Thrill-seeking While all involve uncertainty, joyous exploration is most connected to well-being, resilience, and proactivity. It helps make venturing into the unknown exciting and fun. So, how do you tap into joyous exploration? David Cain, the creator of Raptitude.com, advises you to go somewhere you don't know and flip into what he calls "art gallery mode" to get the magic back. The trick here is that there's always something significant, poignant, or poetic everywhere you look, if your mind is in that certain mode – so rare for adults — of just looking at what's there, without reflexively evaluating or explaining the scene. A mystery co-ordinate in an unfamiliar neighborhood gives you few preconceptions about what you're going to find there, so the mind naturally flips into this receptive, curious state that's so natural for children. By dropping out of analyzing and stepping into feeling, you'll discover you aren't lost at all. Instead, you've found a path to renewed energy, enthusiasm, and inspiration. Knowing How to Get Lost to Find Yourself Again (Exploring Your Mind) How to Get the Magic Back (Raptitude.com) further: flashback Simple Minds - Don't You (Forget About Me) 1985 Don't You (Forget About Me) was written by the producers of The Breakfast Club specifically for the film and offered to Simple Minds to perform. The band lacked enthusiasm, believing that it would be "a throwaway song on the soundtrack to a forgettable movie." The song hit number one on the U.S. and Canadian charts, and The Breakfast Club is not only regarded as the best teen movie ever made, but also a film that transcends the genre. (YouTube) You are receiving this email because you signed up for the weekly Further newsletter. Unsubscribe or Update your profile. To make sure you keep getting Further, please add brian@further.net to your contacts or whitelist the address. Further HQ: 109 East 17th Street, Suite 80, Cheyenne, WY 82001 Twitter  |  Instagram