Friends and readers, thanks for being out there! Here’s our fifth roundup of community notes, featuring reader comments, links, and more.
We’re now twelve weeks into the year. So far we’ve covered:
Introduction, It Was Going So Well, Unhelpful Life Advice, From Rejection to Reflection, Overthinking, A Couch Can Make You Happy, “I Wish I’d Made That Change Later,” Why This Now?, “Your Voicemail Isn’t Working,” Your Last 40 Minutes, Imposter Syndrome Isn’t What You Think, Consider the Opposite of What You’re Worried About, How I Use (and Don’t Use) Adderall to Focus, You Can Be Better than You Are, Is It Always Best to "Do What Makes You Happy"?, A Tale of Two Yoga Teachers, The Felt Sense, No One Teaches You How to Breathe, The Trauma of Adult Undiagnosed ADHD, “What matters to me right now?”, “Wellbeing is about capacity”: A Conversation with Emma Gannon, Lessons From Your Six-Year-Old-Self, Try This When You Aren’t Sure What To Do, Time Anxiety: Can You Take a Quick Survey?, If You Can't Learn Math, Maybe It's Not Your Fault, and If you like taking care of people, consider this.
Also! An initial set of activities (more of these are on the way):
I’m looking forward to seeing these lists expand as the year progresses.
Most posts will have the option to comment—and it’s so fun to see readers jumping in!
In this section I’ll highlight a few recent comments that were upvoted the most by the community. (These are edited lightly for brevity, without changing the tone. Read the full comments and many more on each post’s page.)
From Matthew Eaton on the post Try This When You Aren’t Sure What To Do
I now kinda want to see gorillas gardening around town. That seems majestic.
Also, add using your imagination to dream up silly and absurd things to the list because that might just be a million smile idea.
And from Jack Dixon
So many wonderful suggestions here, Chris. When I start "going negative" and need a reset, I try to get out of my head and into by body. My go-tos are breathing practices (like 4-7-8 or box breathing), walking or any movement, or getting under some cold water.
I love the suggestions here of getting out of your usual routine and adding some variety -- that's something I'm trying to do more regularly.
From Maia Duerr on the post If You Can't Learn Math, Maybe It's Not Your Fault
I completely relate to your experience, and had never heard that dyscalculia is an actual thing. I can add, subtract, and multiply numbers (especially with a calculator, hahaha!). But anything beyond that is Greek to me. I remember struggling with algebra in high school and even more so wondering, "What is the point of this?!" It felt like it had absolutely no relevance in my life, and I didn't see why I was being forced to learn this totally abstract concept. I love words, I am a word person. Math and numbers, no. I outsource that whenever I can. But it is comforting to know I'm not alone in this.
And from Jenn S.
I loved reading this! I have ADHD and dyscalculia. I managed to get along through about a year of college before throwing my hands up in defeat. I stopped being able to help my kids with math homework when they were in about 6th grade. Thankfully my skill set has led me to other great things in life, none of which have required heavy duty numerical lifting! It is a weird sort of relief to realize that I am one of the many who just can’t “get it” when it comes to anything more than basic mathematics.
From Mary Shelton on the post If you like taking care of people, consider this.
Two and a half years ago I called a new therapist and left the message that I wanted to stop being caretaker to the world. I have worked hard on learning why I felt responsible for everyone's pain and need, including world leaders. At the venerable age of 80 I am discovering what it is like to identify what I am actually responsible for and what impact I can realistically have. I am learning freedom.
And from Mary Roblyn
I took care of my husband after he was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer after 43 years of marriage. Enormous stress, lack of support, etc. Feelings of rage and terror when I drove him anywhere as he gave strangers the finger and yelled at me for driving the speed limit or stopping for a pedestrian. I was fortunate to have a good therapist who helped me understand his need for control, as he had no control over his illness. Much more to this story: I wrote about it in my latest post (“Twist and Shout, I Told My Dying Husband”) and got a huge response. I don’t think I was brave, as people keep telling me. I would do it all over again, but hope I never have to.
From Penny Hawes on the post ACTIVITY: Grading your future self
I freakin love this!! My current blog grew out of a journalling practice I started of asking my 60-year-old self for advice (this was, of course, before I turned 60 :-). It turned out my future self had answers to all kinds of life's little questions... and some not-so-little ones.
On my list of A-worthy accomplishments one year from now:
*You actually followed through and created enough income from your writing and membership site to be able to leave your job BEFORE your 66th birthday! You go, girl!
Dead Eyes podcast - This series finished up a while back, but I just discovered it and listened to most episodes while running. It’s about acting, failure, and rejection—and (eventually) features an extended interview with Tom Hanks
In addition to my regular browsing, every couple of weeks I do a public call for submissions. I’ll share many of the links that people send me in future posts.
Here are a few posts I’ve enjoyed recently:
From Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s newsletter
“Some pains gnaw on us throughout our lives. Not all are caused by others against us, but caused by us against others. I don’t think we should try to eradicate the beast that lives within us, but we must learn to tame it so it is more of a cautionary reminder than a snapping predator. We need to remember the hurts to avoid becoming victims of them or inflicting them on others.”
My Year of Bragging by Ali Griffin Vingiano — “I so wish I could rely on my work to speak for itself, but almost no labor does. It’s why employers require interviews, resumes, and references.”
The Dangers of Substack for the Chronically Low Self-Esteemed by Shalom Auslander - The title mentions Subtack, but it’s more about comparison envy and status anxiety (I struggle with this too…)
On menopause, marathons & mental health by Rose Lee - “My body literally had enough of me sprinting, sprinting, sprinting, so it stopped me in my tracks and slowed me right down in the most forceful way.”
20 Seconds of Mother Tongue by Tanya Mozias - “Suffice it to say that at some point in their multilingual childhood, my kids needed an interpreter to interact with one another.”
Note: if you’re publishing a newsletter, feel free to comment in this post with the name of your publication so that other readers can find you.
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As promised, most content on A Year of Mental Health will be completely free. Paid subscribers make this possible.
Even though we have very few paywalled posts, many of you have already upgraded your subscriptions—and I am grateful! Thank you. 🙏 🙏 🙏
Whenever someone upgrades, the platform offers subscribers a chance to write a note to the creator, which can be shared with the subscriber’s permission.
Here’s one that I received this week:
“I'm a long time follower of Chris. I appreciate his radical honesty and desire to help others. Keep on going, Chris! -Jenn”
Again, I want this project to be helpful and valuable to you. We’re just getting started, and it’s going to be a fun year.
A while back we launched The Vault! This is the first phase of my plan to reward paid subscribers while keeping most posts freely available to everyone. 🔐
Among other items, I recently added an audio version of the post on dyscalculia. You can download or listen to these in the app, whatever is convenient to you. 🎙️
I plan to add to The Vault throughout the year, so stay tuned for more.
What if you want a paid subscription but can’t afford it? It’s all good, we’ve got you covered! 🤝
Specifically, we now have a scholarship plan where you can pay whatever you can afford. These scholarships are covered by our Founding Members—thank you, Founding Members!
If you’d like one, just send a note to team @ chrisguillebeau .com with the word “Scholarship” in the subject line. We’ll help you get whatever option you need.
That’s it for now, but I’ll be back Monday at 7am Pacific time. Upcoming topics include: election anxiety, avoidance, and the perks of being misunderstood.
And maybe a surprise guest or two! Like I said, there’s much more to come. 🎁
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