Thursday, March 23, 2023

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The Supreme Court considers a dog poop joke...
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Morning Brew

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Good morning. It's a big day: TikTok's CEO is testifying on Capitol Hill, the men's NCAA tournament resumes with the Sweet 16, and we're celebrating Near Miss Day—the 34th anniversary of an asteroid a half-mile wide coming within 500,000 miles of Earth.

It was hurtling through space at 46,000 miles per hour and would have struck the planet with the force of 20 billion tons of TNT, probably canceling March Madness that year.

Neal Freyman, Matty Merritt, Jamie Wilde, Abby Rubenstein

MARKETS

Nasdaq

11,669.96

S&P

3,936.97

Dow

32,030.11

10-Year

3.444%

Bitcoin

$27,212.83

VIX*

22.26

Stock data as of market close, cryptocurrency data as of 3:00am ET. Here's what these numbers mean.

  • Markets: Stocks went up briefly yesterday after the Fed announced its decision to raise interest rates by the expected amount before plunging once investors had a chance to consider everything Jerome Powell said (more on that in a second).
  • Stock spotlight: One company whose star kept climbing despite it all was antifungal drugmaker Scynexis: Its shares have surged 74% in the two days since the CDC raised the alarm that deadly and drug-resistant Candida auris is spreading rapidly in the US.

 

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ECONOMY

Fed keeps hiking, but summit seems close

Jerome Powell

Like Ted Lasso and Succession, the Federal Reserve's interest rate hikes have apparently entered their final season.

While the Fed increased interest rates by another 25 basis points yesterday (its ninth straight rate increase), it also signaled that troubles in the banking sector could lead it to wrap up the rate hikes soonish.

The key words: In its statement after February's meeting, the Fed said it expected to enact "ongoing increases" in rates to combat inflation. But yesterday, it swapped that language out for "some additional policy firming may be appropriate." Yes, we're getting into the fine print, but small tweaks make a big difference when it comes to Fed statements. This change is a sign that rate hikes could be winding down.

The banking chaos is a big reason why

Fed Chair Jerome Powell said that "serious difficulties at a small number of banks" have emerged, which is a reference to the collapse of Silicon Valley Bank and its ripple effects across the sector.

While it sounds bizarre, the banking turmoil seems to have done some of the Fed's work for it. Here's how:

  • The Fed had been hiking interest rates to curb borrowing and, in turn, slow down the economy and inflation.
  • SVB's implosion seems to have done precisely that. As banks hunker down during the storm, it's "likely to result in tighter credit conditions for households and businesses and to weigh on economic activity, hiring, and inflation," the Fed wrote.

None of that is good for the economy, but it could help lower price growth as inflation is still ripping at 6%.

Big picture: Powell has other things besides interest rates to worry about—specifically, job security. He's been taking heat from lawmakers across the political spectrum over the blowup of several banks on his watch. Politicians as diametrically opposed as conservative Sen. Rick Scott and progressive Sen. Elizabeth Warren have laid the blame for the banking failures at Powell's feet, arguing that he failed to properly regulate the banks in the lead-up to their collapse.

In response to criticism, Powell went full Bart Simpson on a chalkboard yesterday, saying that the Fed is "committed to learning the lessons from this episode, and to work to prevent episodes from events like this from happening again."—NF

        

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WORLD

Tour de headlines

Doctors performing surgery Ricky Carioti/ The Washington Post via Getty Images

🩻 The organ transplant system is getting overhauled. The Biden administration unveiled a plan yesterday to revamp the problem-ridden system for organ procurement and transplants. One nonprofit, United Network for Organ Sharing, has had a monopoly on running the system for nearly four decades, but the government's proposal includes potentially bringing more organizations in, as well as upping funding and modernizing the computer systems involved. There are ~104,000 people currently waiting for an organ transplant, and 17 people die per day while waiting.

TikTok's CEO will tell Congress the app's no agent of China. Shou Zi Chew will face Congress today and is likely to be grilled by lawmakers while arguing that the US should not ban or force a sale of Chinese-owned TikTok, which currently boasts 150 million monthly US users. In prepared testimony released ahead of time, Chew maintained that a ban would hurt American businesses and that TikTok has "never shared, or received a request to share, US user data with the Chinese government." Influencers have also been pleading TikTok's case on Capitol Hill.

The SEC warned Coinbase it plans to sue. Continuing its aggressive stance toward the crypto industry since the collapse of FTX, the SEC has notified Coinbase, the biggest US crypto exchange, that it plans to take enforcement action against the company. Coinbase's CEO Brian Armstrong has been an outspoken critic of the agency's positions on crypto. Yesterday he tweeted, "We are right on the law, confident in the facts, and welcome the opportunity for Coinbase (and by extension the broader crypto community) to get before a court."

INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY

Jack Daniel's takes a poop joke to SCOTUS

Jack Daniels Bottle and Bad Spaniels bottle on opposite sides of the Supreme Court building. Francis Scialabba

Thesaurus.com was probably the star of yesterday's Supreme Court oral arguments, in which attorneys for Jack Daniel's had to use every synonym for "dog poop" they could find. The whiskey brand argued that the dog toy company VIP Products violated its trademark with a crude squeaky toy that mimicked its iconic product.

The VIP "Bad Spaniels" dog toy at the center of the case is modeled after the recognizable whiskey bottle, but instead of saying "Old No. 7 Tennessee Sour Mash Whiskey," it features "Old No. 2 on your Tennessee carpet" in an almost identical font. Jack Daniel's claims that the similarity of the toy's appearance to the real product confuses customers and associates the company's "fine whiskey with dog poop." VIP says its toy is a parody protected as creative expression.

A district court sided with the whiskey-maker, but an appeals court said that because the toy was a parody, extra care had to be taken to ensure that enforcing the trademark didn't run afoul of the First Amendment. The appeals court then found VIP could keep making the toy.

Bottom line: Whether the high court sides with the toymaker or says the company really stepped in it, the decision could redefine how far federal trademark protections reach when humor is involved.—MM

        

TOGETHER WITH CYTONICS

Cytonics

The company aiming to "solve" osteoarthritis. That's a big deal, considering 600m people suffer from this debilitating joint disease, and available solutions offer only temporary, symptomatic relief. Cytonics has leveraged the industry expertise of their team to identify the root cause of osteoarthritis and develop a genetically engineered protein therapy to eradicate it. The best part? You can invest in Cytonics before the opportunity ends on March 30.

MARKETING

No one the new 'We NYC' logo

The new NYC logo in a broken heart New York State Department of Economic Development Photo Illustration: Hannah Minn

NY's governor and NYC's mayor have clearly never heard the phrase "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" because, together with an alliance of businesses, they revealed a revamped version of the iconic "I NY" logo on Monday—and people hate it.

I NY is now "We NYC," a direct riff on NY's beloved original drawn by Milton Glaser on a scrap of paper in the back of a taxi in 1975. An advertising firm dreamt up the simple slogan to encourage tourism to a then-crime-ridden and nearly bankrupt NYC. Glaser gave his design to New York for free—and it now generates millions in merch sales every year.

The v2 is also part of an ad campaign, this time to "cut through divisiveness and negativity" stemming from the pandemic, the CEO of the business consortium Partnership for New York City said. The redesigned logo by Graham Clifford aims to "give it more of a modern twist" by sans-ing the serif, shading the heart, changing the "I" to "We," and adding a C.

The new logo did bring New Yorkers together…in distaste:

  • "It looks and feels wild lopsided?" Bronx-native entertainer The Kid Mero told the NYT.
  • "I wouldn't wish this on Jersey :/," tweeted Rolling Stone senior visuals editor Joe Rodriguez.

Zoom out: Glaser updated his logo once, after 9/11, and while that one was popular, no remix is likely to stay popular as long as the original.—JW

        

GRAB BAG

Key performance indicators

Taylor Swift performing in her Eras Tour John Shearer/Getty Images

Stat: Taylor Swift may see herself as an on-the-bleachers type, but she's got an athlete's endurance. A podcaster estimated that if you tracked Swift's movements during her Eras Tour shows like a soccer player during the World Cup, she covers as much as two miles per show. And she does it all in custom Louboutin heels. But with Swift's 44-song set list clocking in at about three hours, many fans are opting for sneakers and strategically planning out trips to the restroom. Some are trying to match Swift's stamina, though: One told the WSJ, "If Taylor doesn't need a bathroom break, neither do I."

Quote: "The city that rhymes with fun."

The company tasked with drumming up tourism for the Canadian city of Regina—pronounced like Carolina, not Regina George—has apologized after its racy-adjacent new slogans, including "Show us your Regina," didn't go over well with many in the city.

Read: I went on a package trip for lonely millennials. It was exhausting. (New York Times)

NEWS

What else is brewing

  • The SEC is going after more celebrities, including Lindsay Lohan, Akon, and Jake Paul, for allegedly violating securities law while pushing crypto.
  • Donald Trump's attorney must turn over additional information in the investigation into the ex-president's handling of classified documents, an appeals court said, after a judge ruled that attorney-client privilege did not apply.
  • Moderna aid it will price its Covid vaccine at $130 per dose once the government winds down its emergency program to make it available for free. The US government was getting it for $15–$26 per dose.
  • Starbucks olive oil-infused coffee will be available at some US cafes starting today after debuting in Italy last month.

RECS

To do list Thursday

Bend your brain: Find out why your mind won't let you see all the dots in this image.

Cookie conundrum: Science proves there's basically no way to ensure you'll get creme on both sides of a pulled-apart Oreo.

But which Springfield? This map of places with the same name in the US tells you which one people are most likely to be talking about.

In case you plan to not-so-quietly quit: A list of the 100 best large employers in the US.

Dreading an uncomfortable conversation? Put your nerves at ease and master the art of effective workplace communication with Difficult Conversations at Work. The one-week online course kicks off on March 27, and you can register today.

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GAMES

The puzzle section

Brew Mini: OK, competitive crossworders—your goal is to beat Neal's time of 1:45 on today's puzzle. Play it here.

Three headlines and a lie

Three of these headlines are real and one is faker than the window of time your landlord gave you for the water heater repairman to show up. Can you spot the odd one out?

  1. They escaped from jail using a toothbrush—then were captured at an IHOP
  2. Electric scooter startup will use AI to detect how scared you are while riding
  3. Two US mothers sue hospitals over drug tests after eating poppy seed bagels
  4. MSCHF made a free dating simulator that can prepare your federal taxes

AROUND THE BREW

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ANSWER

We made up the one about electric scooters.

* A Note From tastytrade

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Written by Neal Freyman, Matty Merritt, Jamie Wilde, and Abigail Rubenstein

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