News : Chronically Online: Your friends kind of suck

Friday, January 20, 2023

Chronically Online: Your friends kind of suck

FRIDAY, JANUARY 20 2023

It's Friday, which means it's time to stop staring at our medium screens (laptops) and start staring at our little screens (phones) or big screens (TVs). If you've been offline this week, you might have missed the hubbub over Prince Harry's tell-all memoir or Shakira's messy (some might say sticky) breakup. Here's some more hot internet goss to start your weekend off right. Enjoy! ✨

@cathrynlavery / @heavenbrat

A Friendship Feud

Ever since the "Are You In The Right Headspace" meme dropped, analyzing the way people on the internet approach friendship has been constant. This week, a psychologist's TikTok on how to break up with a friend went viral for alll the wrong reasons — namely how sterile it felt. Then this tweet about adults not asking their friends to help them move also got the internet's signature roast treatment. Critics pointed out that friendship doesn't really work that way and treating your homies is one of the best parts of being an adult.

@keke / @wylieswinx

Keke Palmer x 100 Baby Challenge When?

We live for celebs exposing themselves for being just like us, so when Keke Palmer (already an internet legend) livestreamed herself playing The Sims 4, the internet was naturally enthralled. She even created elaborate storylines — including one Sim giving another Sim an STI and causing a full-on fight — and copped to using mods and cheat codes to enhance the playing experience. Brb, redownloading The Sims for the hundredth time.

@henpeckedhal

"Trust Me, I'm Worth It"

This guy's cousin scored big at a bar this week...sort of. In a viral tweet, @henpeckedhal shared his cousin's romantic dilemma: he got *most* of a girl's number. I guess they're both true crime aficionados, so she redacted a couple digits and put him on the hunt. Thankfully, he didn't have to sleuth too hard, since the tweet found its way to her timeline and she slid into his DMs instead. To be fair, it doesn't seem like he could've figured it out on his own away.

@ryantbaum

Going Into Debt For This Omelette

Unless you only eat takeout (lucky) or are allergic to eggs (unlucky), then you've probably realized how absurdly expensive they've gotten lately. Well, Twitter's noticed too, and naturally they're not letting it slide without some jokes. Like this crack (lol) about $20,000 worth of eggs, paying off your egg debt, or creative ways to stock up. My grocery receipt be like.

@johndamopearce

Watch: Um, The Wiggles apparently?

Eat: This cozy dish that's having a moment right now.

Follow: The account that's bending the laws of physics.

Do this weekend: Have a toast.

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