| Good morning. Congratulations to Google Search, which yesterday topped Microsoft Windows to be crowned the Greatest Product of All Time. Very well deserved. And thanks to everyone for playing along—it was so much fun. We're already looking forward to next year's Worst Product of All Time tournament. Early projections for the #1 seeds include scissors packaging, Amtrak wifi, lettuce as a bun, and fitted sheets. | | | |  | NASDAQ | 12,961.89 | - 2.01% | | | | S&P | 3,889.14 | - 0.55% | | | | DOW | 32,420.06 | - 0.01% | |  | GOLD | 1,733.90 | + 0.04% | | | | 10-YR | 1.617% | - 1.00 bps | | | | OIL | 60.81 | - 0.60% | | | *As of market close. Here's what these numbers mean. | - Covid: The US topped 30 million cases of the coronavirus yesterday even as states open vaccine eligibility to more people. Nearly 25% of all Americans have received at least one vaccine dose, and more than 15% have Instagrammed about it.
- Markets: When tech has a bad day, the broader stock market generally has a bad day. Heavy hitters like Facebook, Tesla, and Microsoft dipped and dragged the Nasdaq and S&P lower.
| |  MarineTraffic | On Tuesday, a gargantuan cargo ship named the Ever Given ran aground in the busy Suez Canal, blocking maritime traffic from entering or exiting the crucial shipping highway. If you're wondering how a ship that weighs 220,000 tons and is the size of the Empire State Building ended up sideways, canal officials say high winds from a sandstorm restricted visibility around the time the ship got stuck. It couldn't be in a worse spot The Suez Canal, which connects the Red Sea and the Mediterranean through Egypt, is the carotid artery of the global shipping system. Around 10% of worldwide shipping traffic flows through its narrow waters, including roughly 5% of globally traded crude oil. In 2019, nearly 19,000 ships transporting 1.2 billion tons of cargo passed through the canal, generating $5.6 billion in revenue for Egypt last year. Only the Panama Canal has a similar amount of traffic. - The Ever Given's ill-timed perpendicular park job is acting like a Wendy's Baconator to global trade's circulatory system, creating massive traffic snarls on either side.
As of last night, over 100 ships were stuck at each end of the 120-mile canal, putting even more pressure on the global shipping industry that was already out of whack from the pandemic. No one is shocked this happened Modern container ships like the Ever Given are so massive that global ports and canals have struggled to accommodate them. The Suez Canal is only around 300 feet wide at most points, which makes piloting a huge ship through it tougher than unlocking your apartment door after six White Claws. When a massive ocean liner got stuck near a German port in 2016, it took 12 tugboats and almost a week to free it. Bottom line: Shipping companies usually factor in extra days to their schedules to account for any unexpected delays. But if the Ever Given clogs the canal for longer than that, prices of stranded cargo, from crude oil to consumer goods, could be affected. | |  Francis Scialabba | Not to get all 2008, but gas prices are going up: The US reached an average of $2.88 a gallon last week, per AAA. That's about a 37% increase from last March when everyone called it Corona instead of Covid. Whose fault is it, anyway? Gas prices always tend to rise leading up to the summer, but the 2021 jump can be attributed to two biggies: 1) large, pent-up demand to drive through the mountains listening to Lana's new album and 2) oil refiners not yet refining at full speed. Last month's historic freeze in Texas, the nation's largest natural gas producer, set production back bigtime. What's next? Many Americans are still working from home without lengthy commutes, but a slew of cross-country road trips could help send gas prices even higher. Analysts think average prices could soon rise above $3. One group that's not complaining: oil and gas companies. Energy is the best-performing S&P sector so far this year. | |  Steven Ferdman/Getty Images | David Dobrik, YouTube star and cofounder of photo sharing app Dispo, is getting dropped by sponsors and investors over accusations of sexual harassment and assault directed at his "Vlog Squad." The timeline: Last Tuesday, Business Insider published an investigation into the Vlog Squad that involved accusations of misconduct and exploitation, and an accusation of rape against one member (no charges have been filed). Soon after, Dobrik sponsors including HelloFresh, DoorDash, and Dollar Shave Club pulled their support. On Sunday, Dobrik said he would leave Dispo and step down from the board. Later that night, Spark Capital, a successful venture capital firm that led Dispo's Series A, said it would "sever all ties" with the company, which reached a $200 million valuation in its latest round. - Seven Seven Six, another investor, said it would donate any profits made from Dispo to organizations supporting survivors of sexual assault.
Bottom line: The episode is prompting reflection over 1) investments in high-flying influencers and 2) blind spots in the male-dominated VC-startup ecosystem. | |  | Due to expert analysis culled from 400 news headlines with the identical headline of, "Millennials Makin' Moves...To The Suburbs," we must conclude that many of you are embarking on the homeownership journey. As one of the most exciting yet stressful things you can do, we want to make at least one part easier for you: choosing a home security system. SimpliSafe is that security system. You can protect your whole home from intruders, fire, water damage, and more in an hour or less. Look, pretty much every part of moving is confusing. But SimpliSafe can protect your home no matter the size (modest but impressive), style (def a craftsman), or location (by a good school, of course). Protect one of the most valuable and important investments you'll ever make with 24/7/365 protection from SimpliSafe. | |  Francis Scialabba | Stat: 12 individuals or organizations are responsible for up to 65% of all anti-vaccine content circulating on major social media platforms, per the Center for Countering Digital Hate. Today, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg and his counterparts at Google and Twitter will testify before Congress about the spread of online misinformation. Quote: "When the party is going strong, it's the job of the regulators to take away the punchbowl." Sen. Elizabeth Warren jousted with Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen yesterday about oversight of BlackRock, the world's largest asset manager. Warren was wondering why the Biden administration hasn't put more scrutiny on BlackRock, which manages 180x more assets than banks deemed "too big to fail" post-financial crisis. Read: How the New York Times A/B tests their headlines. (TJCX) | |  Giphy | Yesterday, Slack rolled out a feature called Slack Connect that allows users to direct message people at other organizations... ...only to tweak it hours later after critics raised concerns the feature could be used for harassment. The backstory: In the version that debuted yesterday morning, any paid Slack user could DM any other Slack user if they had their email address. Even if the recipient had disabled Slack Connect, they would still receive an email containing the sender's invitation to chat along with a customized message. So, effectively, there was no way to completely block unwanted messages. Slack said it would disable the option to send a message along with the invitation to chat. "We made a mistake in this initial roll-out," Slack VP of Communications and Policy Jonathan Prince told The Verge. Zoom out: In our increasingly WFH world, Slack is in a race with competitors to introduce features allowing workers to communicate within and across organizations. | | | Today, the Olympic Flame begins its 121-day relay across Japan. Following its arrival in Tokyo, it'll light the only cauldron we know of outside Harry Potter and kick off the 2020 2021 Summer Games. Keeping that flame alive literally and symbolically (Japan has made the unprecedented decision to bar international spectators) won't be the International Olympic Committee's only challenge: It's fielding growing calls to move next year's Winter Games out of China or risk an international boycott. We've got the details on what's happening in China, the complicated history of Olympic boycotts, and what's at stake if a boycott happens. Read it here. | | - Moncef Slaoui, the former chief adviser for Operation Warp Speed, has been fired from pharma giant GlaxoSmithKline after an investigation found Slaoui had sexually harassed a GSK employee a few years ago.
- Facebook said China-based hackers used its platform to target Uighurs, a largely Muslim minority group persecuted by the Chinese government, who are living abroad.
- GameStop stock fell more than 33% following an earnings report that disappointed investors.
- New York lawmakers have reached a deal to fast-track legalizing recreational marijuana.
- Tesla is now accepting bitcoin as payment for its cars.
- A National Treasure TV series has been greenlit by Disney+.
| | | Try this investment on for size. Perfitly leverages the power of AR and VR technologies to help apparel shoppers find the perfect fit online—pretty revolutionary stuff for the world of e-commerce. This fit-tastic opportunity ends tomorrow, so invest in Perfitly today.* Two ingredients. All the difference. Sakara's Metabolism Super Powder contains L-Glutamine, an amino acid that enhances energy, and Fucoxanthin, a plant-based antioxidant that lowers body fat. Supercharge your workout routine and get 20% off with code MARCHBREW today.* Unpaywalled: The PBS series Asian Americans, which explores the experiences of Asian American and Pacific Islander (AAPI) immigrants in the US, is now free to view. Michigan vs. LSU: A college basketball highlight unlike any other. WFH tip: For a Zoom lighting setup more low-key than a ring light, try this wall-mounted light bar recommended by our director of social media, Laura. *This is sponsored advertising content | | | Sometimes when we write the fake headline in this game, we feel like Thanos when he bends reality using Infinity Stones. Three of these headlines are real and one is made up. Can you spot the fake? - "Reddit investors adopt 3,500 gorillas in six days"
- "Domain name 'Cantfocusbecauseoflocusts.com' fetches $800,000 price tag ahead of coming hoard"
- "Florida man arrested for zapping Scientology cameras with laser pointer during 'Cult City Tour'"
- "Taiwan urges citizens not to change their name to 'salmon' to get free sushi"
| | | We made up the locust one. Thanos-level energy, right? | | |
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