Dear edward,
It's Thanksgiving here in the US and this week is all about gratitude. We all deserve to have something to feel grateful for -- something that has always been easier for optimistic people.
Most of us believe being optimistic is a good thing, but when faced with someone who is relentlessly optimistic, it can be ... well, annoying. Especially right now.
So whether you are the optimist or you're about to be faced with dealing with them - here are a few ideas that might help.
1. Avoid being a naive optimist.
According to philosopher D.Q. McInerny, a naïve optimist "is someone who makes emphatically positive estimates without sufficient evidence." In other words, if you are going to be optimistic make sure it is based on knowledge instead of fantasy or laziness. Otherwise, you risk only "spouting inane platitudes that are designed to preserve the niche of bliss [you have] carefully carved out for [yourself]."
2. Be genuine.
As one Quora user wrote, "optimistic/positive people annoy me because I feel they are being disingenuous, and are not really positive and just pretending to be." For many of us, this is why overly optimistic people annoy us too. So how do you avoid this? Part of it comes down to your personality and being honest with yourself. Are you being genuine and sharing what you truly believe or are you putting on a show and trying to be what others expect you to be? No matter how good an actor you think you are, you'd be surprised at how easy it is for the people close to you to tell the difference.
3. Don't make optimism a debate.
Your optimism (or lack of) is not an argument to be won by someone. Too many times, the people who are optimistic see it as their mission to help "convert" everyone else to feeling what they feel. Skip the debate and don't make it your mission to share the optimism. I once heard a comedian describe opposing gay marriage as being the same as getting angry at someone for eating a donut because you are on a diet. You are not in charge of anyone else's attitude, or their diet. Focus on yourself and not on everyone else.
4. Read the room.
There are going to be moments in any gathering, whether it is live or virtual, where people feel sad. Many people this year have lost a family member or friend. There are times where moments of silence are necessary and we all need time to reflect. Sometimes optimists struggle to let these moments linger. They try too hard to "pick everyone up" too quickly and end up cheating the group of that time of reflection that everyone needs. If you are an optimist, remind yourself that everyone else may need more time than you to recover their attitude. Give them that time. | |
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