Good morning. Congrats, everyone—we made it to the final day of Q1. If you're thinking about developing your professional cred in the next quarter, consider signing up for the Brew's Business Analytics Accelerator, which kicks off in May. You'll learn how to build financial models, tap into complex datasets, and use dashboards to tell stories in just seven weeks. Learn more here. Now, onto a particularly newsy newsletter… —Neal Freyman, Abby Rubenstein, Jamie Wilde, Matty Merritt | | | |  | Nasdaq | 12,013.47 | | | | | S&P | 4,050.83 | | | | | Dow | 32,859.03 | | |  | 10-Year | 3.553% | | | | | Bitcoin | $28,065.52 | | | | | BB&B | $0.59 | | | | *Stock data as of market close, cryptocurrency data as of 3:00am ET. Here's what these numbers mean. | - Markets: Stocks kept the positive vibes going on the penultimate day of March, led once again by rising tech shares. As for Bed Bath & Beyond…yikes. The retailer, which desperately needs cash to avoid bankruptcy, crashed again yesterday after it tore up a fundraising deal in favor of a plan to sell as much as $300 million in stock. Its market cap is now just above $70 million.
| | | | Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images Well, we're back to living in unprecedented times. In a first for a former US president, Donald Trump was indicted on criminal charges by a New York grand jury yesterday, his lawyers and prosecutors said. To call this explosive doesn't do justice to TNT—it will become the defining plotline of the 2024 presidential race, which Trump has already entered in his bid to reclaim the White House. So, what are the charges? No one actually knows yet. Charges are sometimes kept under wraps until the defendant makes their first appearance in court (known as an arraignment). Trump is expected to be arraigned in New York City next Tuesday, according to CNN. But we do know what the investigation centered on: $130,000 in hush money sent to porn star Stormy Daniels by Trump's former lawyer, Michael Cohen. Daniels claims to have had an affair with Trump—which he denies, along with the allegations that he was involved in paying her to keep quiet. Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg, a Democrat, is accusing Trump and his company of falsifying business records to hide this payment. - An indictment is just the beginning of the process for the government to make a criminal case—and an eventual conviction is no slam dunk. It relies on a "novel legal theory" that "has never been tested in court," according to the National Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers.
- To prove Trump committed a felony, prosecutors will have to demonstrate that he falsified these records to cover up or commit a seperate crime.
Everyone chimed in Following the indictment, both political parties staked out their positions. - Democrats said the charges show that the US justice system works as designed to hold the powerful to account and that no one, not even a former president, is above the law.
- Republicans, echoing Trump's rebuttal, claimed it was a political hit job by Dems to weaken his 2024 prospects against President Biden. Trump will likely lean into this "witch hunt" theme on the campaign trail. He's already called the indictment "Political Persecution and Election Interference at the highest level in history."
What happens next: When Trump arrives in New York next week for his arraignment, he'll be fingerprinted and have a mug shot taken (which will easily become the most viral picture of all time if made public). This could also be the first of several indictments to come through the pipeline for Trump. He's being investigated in three other criminal probes, including one over his alleged mishandling of classified documents.—NF | | | When beauty retailer Sephora—perhaps you've heard of 'em—wanted more effective time management and partner recruitment methods, they realized their bag of tools was shy of a few essential components. Luckily, after migrating to impact.com, Sephora stocked up on the right tech, tools, and skills to streamline their workflows and build a more diversified partner mix. With this new foundation, Sephora was able to achieve $7.4m in revenue from 293 partners, a 101% increase in partner growth, and 3x revenue growth after partnering with impact.com. Talk about a glow-up! To get the deets on Sephora's journey to success, take a look at their case study. | | Dimitar Dilkoff/Getty Images  Russia arrests American journalist for alleged espionage. A reporter for the Wall Street Journal, Evan Gershkovich, was arrested Wednesday in the city of Yekaterinburg for allegedly investigating Russian military secrets for the US. It's the first time an American journalist has been detained on espionage charges in Russia since the Cold War and a sign of escalating tensions between the rival countries as Russia's war in Ukraine continues. The WSJ said it "vehemently denies the allegations," and the White House also condemned Russia's "targeting of American citizens."
 A court nixed an Obamacare preventative care mandate. Yesterday, a federal judge in Texas blocked the Affordable Care Act's mandate that required insurers to cover PrEP, an HIV preventative medication, and preventative screenings for some cancers. The ruling could affect nearly 100 million Americans who use one or more of these ACA-covered services. The ruling came in a lawsuit that argued the mandate forces religious employers to cover drugs that "encourage homosexual behavior, prostitution, sexual promiscuity, and intravenous drug use." The Biden administration is expected to appeal, and insurers are still likely to offer this coverage for now.
 Wall Street bonuses slashed. If your I-banking friend is summering in Havasu instead of the Hamptons this year, it may be because the average Wall Street bonus plunged by 26% in 2022 to $176,700. This drop, which is the biggest since 2008, is a consequence of both a slowdown in dealmaking and cost-cutting efforts by banks. There were only 71 Wall Street-led IPOs last year that raised a total of $7.7 billion—a tiny fraction of the $142 billion raised by IPOs in 2021. Wall Street bonuses typically account for more than 75% of total comp for NYC-based bankers and traders, per the Financial Times.
| | Rick Bowmer/Getty Images Just hours after the world learned that Trump had been indicted, another headline-grabbing legal battle reached its conclusion: A jury found Gwyneth Paltrow not at fault for a 2016 ski collision in Utah that injured retired optometrist Terry Sanderson, who sued her for $300,000. Paltrow not only won the $1 she requested in her countersuit against Sanderson, but she also won the internet. The eight-day trial inspired an avalanche of TikToks and memes that framed Paltrow, an actor and business mogul, as a heroic figure in this drama. Why was the trial so viral? Mainly because it produced so many soundbites that seemed like they were lifted from a White Lotus episode skewering the wealthy and aloof. - After being asked how the crash inconvenienced her, Paltrow told the courtroom, "Well, I lost half a day of skiing."
- Paltrow was questioned about "intimate" gifts she had given to Taylor Swift.
- Sanderson's witnesses said that following the crash, he was unable to enjoy wine tastings.
Big picture: Having built her Goop empire on outrageously expensive candles and scientifically murky wellness advice, Paltrow has been preparing for the role of out-of-touch rich woman in court for a long time.—MM | | | Step out in B Corp certified style. After racking up a monumental waitlist (77k peeps, to be exact), Cariuma's bestselling sneaks are back, baby. Praised by skaters, celebs, and style authorities alike, these showstoppers come in a variety of colors, prints, and iconic collabs that are perf for spring. Get 20% off with code MBMAR20 before they sell out again. | | Disney via Giphy It looks like Disney has added a new character to the Magic Kingdom: the troll. The company quietly entered agreements that rendered the board Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis hand-picked to govern the special tax district surrounding Disney World nearly powerless. Bewildered board members only learned about these agreements this week, and one said they planned to "correct" Disney's behind-the-scenes sleight of hand. Disney, though, asserts it was all kosher. How did we get here? For 55 years, the state allowed Disney to make its own rules for developing the land where its theme parks sit. But after the company criticized the so-called "Don't Say Gay" bill, DeSantis installed his own board to run the district. With the new board in place, it looked like DeSantis had won…until Disney pulled a Mulan-like switcheroo. When the board was still Disney-controlled, it entered into restrictive covenants for the land that: - Bar the new board from using the Disney name or any of the company's IP, including Mickey Mouse.
- Give Disney the right to review any proposed changes to properties in the district.
And, fittingly for a company synonymous with princesses, Disney made the agreements valid until "21 years after the death of the last survivor of the descendants of King Charles III, king of England."—AR | | C. Morgan Engel/Getty Images Stat: The women's Final Four basketball games will be played tonight, with a record number of TV viewers tuning in to the tournament. In fact, the Iowa–Louisville Elite Eight game last Sunday drew more viewers (nearly 2.5 million) than any NBA game on ESPN this season. The marquee matchup—Caitlin Clark's Iowa vs. Aliyah Boston's South Carolina—is at 9pm ET. Quote: "I was wrong to say sell." Investor Michael Burry threw egg on his own face by acknowledging that his advice to sell stocks on Jan. 31 was a bad call, given the the market's resilience since then. Why do people care what Burry has to say? He's the guy portrayed by Christian Bale in The Big Short who correctly called the housing implosion in 2008. After issuing his mea culpa on Twitter, Burry congratulated traders who've been buying the dip. Read: How AI misrepresents culture through a facial expression. (Medium) | | The feeling of getting a 5/5 on the Brew's Weekly News Quiz has been compared to seeing the DVD screensaver hit a corner. It's that satisfying. Ace the quiz. | | - Nine US soldiers were killed in a crash involving two Army Black Hawk helicopters during a routine training mission in Kentucky.
- A BNSF-operated train carrying ethanol and corn syrup derailed in Minnesota, and four cars caught fire. Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz said residents were evacuated but could return home within a day.
- Turkey signed off on Finland's application to join NATO, clearing the way for the Nordic nation to join the military alliance.
- Profits at Cal-Maine Foods, the No. 1 egg producer in the US, jumped 718% last quarter due to the spike in egg prices.
| |  Real Italian cooking: Forget what you see on the travel shows—this is what an Italian grandma cooks.
How does a bicycle work? Like this. One-hit wonders: TikTok might be juicing their numbers. Learn about the cosmos: PBS Space Time offers digestible explainer videos about the universe. Lessons for innovation: Join us next Monday at noon ET for a virtual convo with Will Guidara, transformational restaurateur and author, as we chat about innovation and how to become a standout leader. Register now. Beloved backups: Happy World Backup Day! Celebrate the occasion by streaming Veeam's new sitcom Data Pains and reading about when the command "rm" almost spelled disaster for a movie studio. Many happy recoveries.* *This is sponsored advertising content. | | Jigsaw: Turns out, you don't have to travel to Washington, DC, to look at the beautiful cherry blossoms. You can stay right where you are and solve our jigsaw. Friday puzzle Today's puzzle is a classic known as "Seven Bridges of Königsberg." This old Prussian town has seven bridges (shown in red), and your task is to devise a route that crosses each of those bridges once and only once. Can you do it?  | |  We all have a stain-covered coffee mug on its last legs. Well, now you can let it retire in peace and grab our Excel mug as a replacement. It holds your morning brew while keeping the most valuable Excel shortcuts at your fingertips. Shop now.
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| | | Apologies if you spent a lot of time on this, but the answer is…no path crosses each bridge only once. Here's the explanation, first put forth by the famous mathematician Leonard Euler in 1735. | | |
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