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When people offer advice, most of them mean well. Not always, to be clear. Some people give advice in a way that’s meant to foster dependence on them, or to create some sense of obligation for the advisee. But let’s assume the advice-giver is indeed well-meaning. The advice may still be problematic! People giving advice don’t always explain their thought process well. They might leave out key steps because they do them instinctively. What’s more, advice is often based on hindsight. What worked in the past might not be as useful in a fast-changing world. The list of “problems with well-meaning advice” could go on:
Just to name a few! The point: other people’s advice might work for them. It might work in their specific situation and circumstance. It might work because of their own life experience. But none of that means that other people’s advice will work for you.
I often think of this principle when I hear popular motivational sayings. You know what’s funny? Many of these sayings could be reversed and would still make sense. Consider the classic saying, “Don’t just stand there, do something.” Well, action is often good, sure—but sometimes it’s better to just sit! Sometimes waiting is exactly the right decision. Or consider all the inspirational sayings about getting started:
Again, often it’s good to start, but other times it’s just as good to stop doing something as it is to begin. Try substituting the word stop for all of these “just do it” calls-to-action:
These modified sayings might not get as many “likes” on social media as the others, but they should. If you’re having a hard time getting started with something, maybe the answer is to stop doing something else. And remember that other people’s advice does not automatically apply to you. You’re currently a free subscriber to 🌻 A Year of Mental Health. For the full experience, consider upgrading!
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Don't Just Do Something, Sit There
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October 07, 2024
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